Fanfic VS Canon VS Reality
by notsing
Summary: Not a story. Observations on fanfic.  I don't own Numb3rs. Dammit!


Numb3rs Fanfic vs Canon vs Reality

This is not really a fanfic story, sorry. It's more me grumbling about some fanfic myths that seem to have become accepted as unrefutable fact. For what's it's worth, I wish to set the record straight. I realize not everyone is going to agree with me. Especially when I'm arguing fanfic myth versus reality, because, after all, we're talking about a TV show. That being said, here goes:

Fanfic myth (vs canon) numb3r one: Charlie doesn't eat. Excuse me, but where the HELL does this come from? And why is it so widely accepted? DID ANY CHARLIE FANATIC WATCH THE SAME SHOW I DID? I have to ask, because in episode after episode, guess what? We see Charlie eating!

Charlie eats breakfast, lunch, and supper. He eats at home, at work, and at restaurants. He eats with Alan, Don, Larry, Amita, and the FBI team. He even dines with Marshall. He cooks! He bakes cookies, and learns to make waffles. He also talks about food alot.

And who can forget that wonderful (I think) scene where Robin is trying to bond with Amita (as in, we're both dating these crazy Eppes brothers) and the girls laugh about how obsessed the brothers are with food.

So why does almost every Charliecentric story has Charlie neglecting to eat? And why has no reader challenged this idea before?

Not only doesn't Charlie eat, he also doesn't sleep, and seems incapable of taking care of himself. PLEASE! Charlie is an adult! Part of being an adult is taking basic care of yourself, and accepting the consequences if you don't. In other words, it's not Don's job to make sure Charlie takes care of himself. (Because, of course, in these stories it's always Don's fault when Charlie fails to take care of himself. I really wish some Charlie fanatic would explain that logic to me, because I sure as hell don't get it.)

No one else is responsible for Charlie but Charlie. Frankly, I find it insulting to Charlie to assume he can't take care of himself.

Fanfic myth (vs canon and reality) numb3r two: Charlie's clearance is higher than Don's. The show never, ever says that. Furthermore, it's highly unlikely. Don tells Charlie that because of his clearance, he no longer needs a visitor's pass to get to Don's office. Guess what? Don doesn't need clearance to get in his own office, because he already has the clearance. Excuse me for stating the obvious, but evidently it needed to be said, since so many writers seem to have missed that point.

What I'm trying to say is that Don is not some low level flunky. As SAC of the violent squad unit in LA, Don's clearance is pretty freaking high. (And while Charlie is not suppose to talk about what he did for the NSA, neither is Don suppose to tell Charlie all the details about his past cases. It's just the nature of the beast, not a matter of clearance. Trust me, my government very much prefers the right hand not to know what the left hand is doing.)

Fanfic myth (vs reality) numb3r three: the NSA is a super powerful agency that kicks around the FBI. The NSA is a shadowy part of the Defense Department . A few NSA agents have died in the line of duty, especially during the cold war, but they are not armed agents in the traditional sense. (And they are certainly NOTHING like James Bond!) Instead, they listen to foreign communications then analyse it for secret codes or for useful information. (In other words, they're eavesdroppers.)

Their importance and power have been wildly over-exaggerated. For example, it was the CIA who find Bin Laden, (a Navy Seal team killed him) and the FBI who tracked down and arrested McVeigh. (The two people in recent history Americans most wanted brought to justice.)

And while I'm on the subject, nobody much pushes around the FBI. They are the big boys on the block. Deal with it.

Fanfic myth (vs canon and reality) numb3r four: Charlie would regularly be taken to combat zones by various US agencies. Um, how about, no? Why would they? Remember when Prince Harry wanted to go into combat, and it was determined that it would put his fellow soldiers into too much danger trying to protect him? The same would be true of a bonafide genius.

As a real life example, I give you someone who should be familiar to all dedicated Numb3rs fans, Richard Feynman. He was 23 on December 7, 1941. (The day Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.) Most 23-year-olds went and fought in either the ETO or the PTO. Feynman went to Los Alamos, and helped develope Little Boy, which was dropped on Hiroshima August 6, 1945, and Fat Man, which was dropped on Nagasaki August 9, 1945. (The only two atomic bombs ever dropped during a war.)

My point is, you don't send your best and brightest into unnecessary danger. That may sound harsh, but it's a fact. {Well, except during the lunancy called WWI. But who can comprehend the logic of that bloodbath?} And with today's modern means of communication, it's hard to imagine any scenerio where exposing Charlie to immediate risk would be necessary.

Well, that's it. I appreciate anyone reading this, and boy, am I glad to finally get all this off my chest! (By the way, I was working on a new Numb3rs story, but real life has been overwhelming lately. Things are starting to get better though, so I hope to start writing again.)


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